


save me, they try to tell me how to feel

by kunimi_blep



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 6/52, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Eventual Happy Ending, Forbidden Love, Ish?? - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Modern Royalty, Prince Oikawa Tooru, Servant Kuroo Tetsurou, Song: Love Story (Taylor Swift), god i love oikuroo and i love taylor swift, haikyuu x taylor swift, lol, mentions of torture/violence/pain, this is entirely self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:15:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi_blep/pseuds/kunimi_blep
Summary: this love is difficult, always has been and probably always will be, but what matters to kuroo and oikawa is that it's real.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	save me, they try to tell me how to feel

**Author's Note:**

> taylor's version brainrot (: (: i've always wanted to write an oikuroo fic and i've been listening to the new version of love story the entire DAY so. the inner swiftie in me just had to,, please accept this

"You got out."

Oikawa's voice is soft to Kuroo's ears, breathless and disbelieving for all of the three long seconds it took for him to declare it when his eyes had met Kuroo's, to say it out loud like he has to actually force himself to believe it. His eyes are shiny, his smile is small, but all of this is blinding to Kuroo all the same. "I told you I would."

For a minute, Kuroo doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how he looks to Oikawa but he's sure it's not a pretty sight.

He's still catching his breath from how far and fast he'd had to run, and his wrists and fists must be bruising already and the cuts on his legs from tripping over himself will start to sting soon, too. And yet, for some illogical reason his usually intelligent brain can't seem to comprehend, there is nothing else he feels except the elation, and the surprise, and the warmth at the fact that Oikawa is here, the ground dirtying his expensive shoes and the tall grasses framing his body. Oikawa is here, waiting for Kuroo, just the way he'd promised.

Kuroo still doesn't know what to do, thinks that if he doesn't start getting on the move as soon as possible that the pain will catch up to him, or worse, _they_ will catch up to him, but Oikawa is here, and he's reaching out to him, and he knows now what the first thing he has to do is, and that is to brace himself on the ground and keep himself steady, no matter how tired he's quickly becoming as the seconds pass by quickly, to catch Oikawa when he rushes to him.

In a second, Kuroo's got an armful of his prince Oikawa Tooru, and there are arms thrown over his shoulders, an embrace so tight and yet so liberating. He's been tied down to the lowest of roles one could think of in the palace, and now he's being freed by the very person he's served all his life. He's tied down to this one moment, caught in Oikawa's hold and arms and _everything_ , but he's never felt freer. "I love you," Oikawa whispers, almost delirious in its urgency to get it across. "I've been feeling so alone."

_Me too_ , Kuroo thinks, knowing Oikawa must have come here every single day, waiting for him even when he didn't come, _couldn't_ come yet. "I love you, I love you." These words are repeated, again and again, quiet but firm declarations of a love that Kuroo's never, even for one second, doubted at all. 

Oikawa's lips are soft against the skin of Kuroo's neck, his breath warm and rough, and yet this is the calmest Kuroo has ever felt-- despite the adrenaline making his heart pump an inhumane speed in his chest. His own arms wrap around Oikawa's waist, a familiar place, and Oikawa's hair tickles Kuroo's face where he's being nuzzled, and he forgives his heart for its relentless beating if only for the fact that Oikawa's own isn't faring any better.

When Oikawa pulls back, his smile is the brightest it's ever been, in this moment that he's here with him, and in all the time they've known together, though his eyes are shining with unshed tears, and he keeps looking all over Kuroo, darting from here to there and then here again, and the attention has no business making Kuroo feel but a single ounce of self-consciousness. He knows he looks haggard, bruised, messy, ratchet-- broken at most, at this point-- like everyone's ever told Oikawa servants deserve to look, like everyone's ever told Kuroo he deserves to look because he's _nothing_.

But Oikawa is running his fingers through Kuroo's hair, not even in an attempt to tame the strands or detangle it from the matted mess it's become, but as if to soothe him, to reassure him that he'd done good, that he's happy he got out, that he's happy he waited, that he's safe now, that he'll take Kuroo to anywhere he needs to get treated later. His hands, careful and clean like the white silk he keeps pristine on his body, are touching all over Kuroo's face, inspecting past the sweat and the grime and the little bit of blood from the cuts on his lips and cheek and forehead, to tell him that he'll be okay, that _they'll be okay_.

"We'll run away," Oikawa starts now, taking on a calm tone after all the frenetic breaths he's taken at every spot of pain he'd seen on Kuroo's body. Kuroo watches him bend down to take his shoes off and offer them to Kuroo by his feet, says his socks will do for himself until they get to the first inn out of here. Kuroo cannot find words, not even when Oikawa is gingerly lifting his foot off of the ground to put his shoes on him one at a time. Already there is a relief from the scorching heat of the ground he'd been running and then walking on, and he's grateful.

Kuroo has dreamed, when he was a kid, of one day wearing such well-made and intricately designed shoes, but this isn't a fulfillment of any dream. This is out of necessity, to protect the wounds on the soles of his feet from the heat and the rocky ground. At this point, he can't bring himself to feel sorry not only for making Oikawa walk out here to dirty the outside of his shoes, but also for stepping into them easily and soiling the insides as well.

When Oikawa stands back up, Kuroo's head spins a little from having to look up so quickly from where he'd been watching Oikawa below him, a vertigo that he's experienced many times over the past week, and it really can't be a good sign. The ache in his feet and legs from having to run so fast was there, and so was every other ache in his body from where he'd been kept hostage and beaten. He feels weak, there is no denying it, and the flash of panic in Oikawa's eyes only proves that he cannot be pretending he's okay any longer.

"I'm tired," is the first thing Kuroo says now. He doesn't want to admit it, because he wants to be strong for Oikawa, needs to be, because that's the reason he'd tried so hard and succeeded in escaping. But he owes it to Oikawa to be honest. Who knows how long he's been hiding and waiting out in the fields like this? "I don't know if I can make it far enough to run away with you."

Instead of sadness or desperation, there is a hardness instead that takes over Oikawa's eyes at the admission-- but the grip Oikawa has on Kuroo's hand makes it clear that he isn't angry at Kuroo's body for being weak, but at his people who'd done this to him, who'd caused him pain, who'd made him suffer, all because of him, _them_.

"I know where we can go," Oikawa answers, as if the idea that they won't expend and waste their energy on getting lost or looking for a place to stay will give Kuroo enough strength despite his body's impending protest.

But Kuroo doubts this, and he doesn't mean to, but Oikawa has been sheltered his entire life, and he knows nothing beyond the four walls of his palace. Kuroo knows because he's been his family's servant since he was a child. How Oikawa could possibly know where they can run to when Kuroo is on the literal hunt because he'd been caught in the prince's bed a moon ago-- it doesn't sound real.

Kuroo has a hundred percent of his faith in Oikawa, he does, always has and always will, but this is no time to be acting like everything is going to be fine.

Kuroo had escaped to see Oikawa at least one last time, and then that would have been it. He was ready to die, as he should be, because he was literally hanging onto what felt like his last breath until Kenma had sacrificed himself and made a commotion outside of his chamber just so he could get the one chance to run. Where they are now, the grass is tall enough to hide the both of them, but if any of Oikawa's people see him out here, there isn't a single doubt in him that he'd be shot on the spot. Kuroo was ready to die for Oikawa--

"Iwaizumi," is all Oikawa insists in an explanation. The name rings a bell, but Kuroo's in no shape to even attempt to remember where he's heard it before. "Iwaizumi is waiting for me. When we get out of here--" Oikawa gulps, taking a deep breath as if to keep himself in the moment, as if getting out of here is already too much a dream he'd made up in his head, and maybe it was, really, but if Oikawa is as determined to get them both out of here as he is now, no matter how dangerous, or exhausting, that will be enough will to keep him powering through. "He'll keep us safe."

Whoever Iwaizumi is must be someone who has Oikawa's full trust, because his voice is as sure as it will ever be. The chances of them succeeding and getting some place safe is.. unrealistic, and yet Oikawa is coming back into Kuroo's space, his hands on his cheeks and his eyes looking deep, deep into Kuroo's. "I promise we'll make it."

Kuroo's hands twitch where they hang at his sides in response to the promise. "Prince--"

"You don't call me that." The voice is sharp, cold, leaves no room for Kuroo to argue or disobey. "I am not a prince. And you are not my servant." It's been this way for a while, of course. Oikawa's never been just a prince to Kuroo in the first place. And Kuroo's never been just a servant to Oikawa either. "You are my lover." Kuroo's breath hitches. This is as much a provision of a label for the first time as it is a confession unneeded. "And I am yours."

Kuroo sags then, all fight and adrenaline and fear melting out of his body and guiding his hands to hold over Oikawa's on his face. There is only an exhaustion left in Kuroo that is bone-deep and all-consuming, but he nods, because he believes in Oikawa. "I love you, Oikawa Tooru." His throat feels scratchy any time he tries to talk, tight around the tears he's refused to shed despite seven long days and nights of torture in the dark.

"You saved me, Kuroo Tetsurou."

Kuroo is the one who, just the other day, closed his eyes all but never expecting to open them again, and it was the thought of living for Oikawa that kept him holding on. And yet it is Oikawa who claims, genuinely with all of the sincerity he has in his heart, that Kuroo was the one who saved _him_.

Oikawa is crying now, enough for the both of them, not from any fear, and not from any anger. He cries, finally lets them out, and these are tears undeniably shed for their truth. "They can't tell me how to feel anymore. They tried--" Oikawa's mouth closes over a gasp as more tears slide down his face-- "but this is real. No matter how difficult it is."

"I love you." It's the only thing he can think to say that will be enough, at least for now.

Oikawa's lips, when they press against Kuroo's-- bloodied and dry and chapped-- are soft, warm, reassuring. _Safe_.

"We don't have to be afraid anymore," Oikawa hiccups when he releases Kuroo. He wipes at the wetness in his cheeks aggressively, steeling himself and showing his resolve as a testament to his lover. "We'll make it out of this mess."

The grip Oikawa has now around his wrist is painful, but it's painfully sure, and Kuroo isn't going to let him let him go. Not anymore.

He walks for barely ten minutes before he stumbles against Oikawa's side from the pain in his body. "You're okay," Oikawa whispers, instead of asking Kuroo if he actually is. He knows this is the right thing to do. He steadies Kuroo enough to keep him standing in the second it takes him to kneel down in front of him.

Kuroo has always been bigger than Oikawa, years upon years of manual work and servant labor on top of the hours spent serving Oikawa's family. But he looks down, and Oikawa's back is broad, steady, the image of strength and promise, and though almost embarrassed at having to _rely_ because he's never had anyone to rely on but himself, the trust beats any semblance of humiliation out of him, and he positions himself over Oikawa.

Standing again, Oikawa does not shake, nor does he waver for even one second, carrying Kuroo on his back. Immediately, having been relieved of having to bear his own weight, his mind starts drifting. The demons in his head are quiet, having disappeared when hope ignited right back up when he'd seen Oikawa waiting for him even without reassurance.

"Stay with me."

Kuroo barely nods into Oikawa's neck in answer. The steps Oikawa takes are slow, gentle, sure, and he thinks he hears birds somewhere overhead. He wants to sleep, though afraid he won't wake up anymore, but determined to, when he hears Oikawa's voice, so close to his ear and yet sounding like it's coming from the farthest of distances. "I'm going to marry you."

.

Kuroo doesn't know how long he's been in and out of sleep, has no idea even where the two of them are or how long it's been since the sun has set, but he has no questions. He doubts Oikawa's put him down to rest himself even once.

Kuroo can still feel Oikawa's shoes on his feet, and the guilt and remorse that comes with knowing there is no way Oikawa's feet are still okay almost get him to wake up-- but the aches and the pain keep him down.

He's kept his eyes closed for the majority of their journey to wherever, opening them proving to be too much effort. Kuroo wonders if this is a dream, all of it, seeing Oikawa again, getting to kiss and embrace him again, being promised to by him, running away with him-- but Oikawa's hold on him is as real as all of the feelings that had gotten them both in danger, and he feels grounded, tied back to the earth instead of wishing any pain would end and take him far, far away.

This is okay.

.

"Prince Oikawa."

An unfamiliar voice brings Kuroo out of his unconsciousness. Oikawa doesn't tell whoever it is not to call him a prince, unlike how he did when Kuroo mindlessly tried, hours ago.

"You will be safe here. I swear it on my life."

The devotion in the stranger's voice is all too familiar to Kuroo, having heard it in his own voice spoken to Oikawa all his life, but there is no fight left in him even at the slightest threat or jealousy, and in the end, he knows love only ever matters to Oikawa when it came from Kuroo.

"I need a physician for him." Oikawa's voice sounds tired, worn out, as he must be after what must have been hours of having to keep Kuroo off his feet. "Immediately."

There is the sound of shuffling feet, a door opening and closing, Oikawa walking taking just a few more steps. The air is different where they are now, more warm air that seeps in through his now dried from sweat clothing. When he opens his eyes, the room they are in is all wood and wool and just a candle light in the corner.

Oikawa doesn't deserve such a run-down room, is the first thing Kuroo thinks, because Oikawa has been used to everything beautiful and ostentatious, and this isn't it. Nowhere near it.

But Oikawa has kept his hold on Kuroo all this time, even now. 

Kuroo slowly tries to wrap his arms tighter around Oikawa to let him know he's finally coming to.

"My love." Oikawa's voice is gentle in its acknowledgement of his consciousness, afraid to startle him. Only now does Kuroo notice the soft tremble of Oikawa's hands on his thighs, obviously from overexertion, and he slowly pulls away to put his feet down. They feel numb, both his feet and his legs, but Oikawa keeps himself firm and standing for Kuroo to lean against. His own hands, now having let Kuroo go, come up to hold Kuroo's over his chest.

"My love," Kuroo says back, though the affectionate call leaves an unfamiliar taste on his lips. He presses himself impossibly closer against Oikawa's back and embraces him tighter.

Oikawa releases a sigh, not of relief from finally putting Kuroo down, but of pleasure, of contentment, of love, because wherever this is, they are safe, and wherever this is, they're together, and it's terrifying that Kuroo can tell all of this from a single breath out. But Kuroo's always understood Oikawa, more than anyone else, because he'd opened himself up to Kuroo so willingly, so genuinely, and there's never been any looking or going back since.

"Marry me." The breath that comes out with those words is warm against the back of Kuroo's hands.

If Kuroo thought that it might have just been a hallucination or a dream when Oikawa first started walking them out of the field, there is no denying it now, not when Oikawa is turning around in his arms, meeting his eyes in the dark, pressing his lips against Kuroo's in a light yet searing kiss.

It takes Kuroo too long to answer, he thinks, because Oikawa is mumbling against his mouth. "Just say yes."

Kuroo, for all of the effort it takes, smiles against Oikawa's lips. As if Kuroo would have any answer besides that.

Neither of them will ever have to be alone, and if all that they really know is that they love each other, that's enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> since i was in fifth grade i've always believed that  
>  _ **save me, they try to tell me how to feel  
>  this love is difficult, but it's real**_  
> and  
>  _ **save me, i've been feeling so alone  
>  i keep waiting for you but you never come**_  
> are literally two of the best verses taylor swift has ever written and well.
> 
>   
>  [🍃](https://open.spotify.com/track/3CeCwYWvdfXbZLXFhBrbnf?si=d385fb4ee038417e)   
> 


End file.
